Last month
, long-time supporter Winn Ellis shared her inspiration to give her daughters an opportunity for self-discovery. Now Tess, her oldest, writes about how Outward Bound gave her the confidence to say ‘yes’:
I was born shy. My mom and dad told me that when I was six months old, I would burst out crying when strangers came up to the stroller and looked at me. Even as I grew older, I never liked saying yes. I didn’t know what to expect–maybe something bad would happen if I said yes. I was too careful. I felt annoyed with myself, and I knew it was holding me back from living a full life.
Then a couple of years ago, my mom and I had lunch with my older cousin, Ryland. Ryland is a recent college graduate now and used to be a lot like me in high school – on the shy side, gentle, cared a lot about people, stayed clear of conflict. He was also a homebody, just like me. When my mom asked him what his biggest piece of advice was for me before his senior year of high school, he answered, “I made a promise to myself that I would say yes more.” After hearing him say that, I was inspired to do the same.
My mom, being a Hurricane Island Outward Bound alumnae herself, said that I could choose any course in the US. I had been hearing stories of her course my whole childhood and my love for the ocean trumped any other Outward Bound course options. I would be attending a 22-day sailing course with Hurricane Island Outward Bound and that terrified me. It would be the first time I would be away from home for a whole month.
“Growing up, I never liked saying yes. I didn’t know what to expect–maybe something bad would happen if I said yes. I was too careful. I felt annoyed with myself, and I knew it was holding me back from living a full life.”
The first day was confusing and nerve-racking but that night, I already had a feeling that these two groups of people who would be sailing in two boats alongside each other for 22 days would be friends for life. I couldn’t wait to hear their stories.
Three days into the course, I knew that this expedition would alter my way of thinking for the rest of my life. The third day was also the foggiest day. There was no wind in the air, which meant that we had to row. I volunteered to be in the first group of rowers and once I started to row I felt strong. Our goal was to row all the way across Penobscot Bay where we would anchor behind one of the islands. I rowed the entire six hour trip.
When I think back to that moment last summer on my 22-day Outward Bound course, I think of how far I’ve come with this promise to myself of living larger and saying yes. I no longer want to stand behind everyone; it is tiresome. I want to be a part of everything—it makes life more interesting.
In order to have the life I want, I need to be more of the person I was on the boat. Outward Bound was totally outside of my comfort zone, but in the end it was one of the best things I have ever done. Now in college, I have a new mantra: Confidence. I have pushed myself to explore new challenges and develop new passions like rowing as a sport, getting involved with clubs on campus and becoming a Residential Adviser. I’ve pushed way past my own limits. I put myself in a place where I had no control over what would happen. Even though it was a long process to become an RA, I am glad to step up to the plate and be a leader for the incoming freshman class who will soon learn how to leave their own comfort zones.
Please donate today if you would like to give the opportunity to gain self-confidence on an Outward Bound California course!
